Condoms

Condoms are a physical barrier to prevent the bodily fluids of two people coming into contact during sex. Semen is the primary transmission route of most infections, but some may also be contained in urine and very occasionally saliva. Therefore the most important time to use condoms is when having penetrative sex, either vaginal or anal, but they should also be used during oral, especially if the person giving oral sex has any cuts or sores in their mouth, or if the person receiving oral sex has any on or around the penis or vagina (see ‘Dental Dams’ below). The chances of catching an STI from oral sex can also be reduced by simple things like not brushing your teeth or using mouthwash just before giving oral sex (as it causes minor damage to your gums). You should also use condoms on dildos and other sex toys if you are sharing them between partners. The condom should also be swapped between each use.

If you’re having anal sex, you’re best off using extra strong condoms because they’re tougher and less likely to split. Shop around until you find the brand that’s best for you. If you’re not using an extra strong condom, be doubly sure to use plenty of lube.

If you have a large penis or are using a sex toy, you may find that normal condoms are too tight-­fitting, and thus are likely to split. To avoid this, try larger condoms. If you have a smaller penis, try a brand such as Pasante Trim.

If your penis becomes red and sore after using condoms, you may be allergic to latex. We have some latex free condoms, and a large variety of other condoms, available free at Monday night socials and at drop­ins. Or drop us an email at lgbta@dur.ac.uk telling us what you want and we’ll send it to you via internal mail.

How to Put on a Condom

Used correctly, condoms will almost guarantee protection against the majority of STIs, including HIV (but excluding the few where contagious body parts aren’t on the penis and parasites). What makes them ‘only 97% effective’ is misuse that leads to the condom slipping off or tearing. So here are some tips to remember:

• Before opening the condom, check the use-by date on the packet, and also check the packet isn’t ripped or otherwise damaged.
• Push the condom away from the corner you are opening so you don’t rip it. Most packets will have a perforated edge that makes opening them easier.
• Be careful not to damage the condom with your nails.
• Condoms have an inside and an outside. The outside is usually covered in lube that will make the condom slip off if it’s inside out. The inside sometimes contains spermicide that can irritate the anus, and thus make STI transmission more likely. To get it the right way round, sit it on the palm of your hand and the middle should stick up like a little Mexican hat.
• Squeeze the air out of the tip as you roll the condom down the penis, so that there is room for the semen to go when you come. Roll the condom all the way down to the base of the penis, without leaving any air bubbles or wrinkles.
• Never put one condom on top of another – it doesn’t give you twice the protection, it actually makes them more likely to break.
• For anal sex, use plenty of lube on the condom and the anus to reduce the amount of friction ad thus the chance of a tear occurring. Don’t use lube on the inside of the condom. Use water based lube not oil based, as oil based lubes will make the condom split.
• Check the condom every now and again during sex to make sure it hasn’t slipped off.
• Condoms wear out, even if you don’t. Use a new condom about every half hour.
• After you’ve come, pull out gently holding the base of the condom on your penis and remove it before you go soft, so nothing spills inside the other person.
• Dispose of the condom responsibly – wrap it in a tissue and put it in a bin; don’t flush it down the toilet.

Lubes

Durex are safe to use with condoms. They are available in chemists, supermarkets and even some gay club bathrooms. Oil­-based lubes such as butter, olive oil, moisturiser, Vaseline and suntan lotion are NOT SAFE to use with condoms (bear in mind that lipstick is oil-based too!). They will weaken the condom and make it very likely to split during use.

Silicone-­based lubes tend to be a bit longer lasting than water­-based ones and thus are preferred by some but be aware that they are not suitable for use with silicone sex toys. Some flavoured lubricants are also sweetened with sugar – something which is not ideal for girls as it can increase the likelihood of them getting thrush. If you are worried about this, check the label for glucose, sucrose or fructose. You might also want to keep an eye out for glycerin(e), as it may also exacerbate yeast infections.

The LGBTA offer a range of lubes during the Monday socials, during drop­ ins or via University internal mail.

Dental Dams

Dental dams are square pieces of thin latex placed over the anus or vagina whilst rimming or giving oral sex. Their purpose is much the same as condoms in preventing transfer of bodily fluids, HIV and STIs. They have to be held in place during use. We have a range of dental dams available for free during drop­-in hours and at Monday night socials.

Stopping Using Protection

Couples in steady long-­term relationships often choose to stop using protection or other protection at some point. It is a good idea to go to a GUM clinic together before stopping using protection so you both know you are free of STIs. After this point trust is what is keeping you safe, so be responsible for yourself and your partner and be honest.